Well i haven't blogged in quite some time because i've been working non stop but this week i had two days off in a row...before my 5 days of hell begin. Last week was crazy because of mothers day so it totally drained me and the two days were much needed.
I got to spend time with my two girlfriends pretty much the past two days and it's always a treat to see them. One of them i really don't talk to too much during the year just because her and i are terrible at phones and we'll only speak to eachother if we have something that we really want to tell one another. Over this past year (being out of school now) i've had more time to be with myself when i'm off work (mainly because everyone else is in school including my bf) so i'm shopping more and running around more...but by myself. I'm really enjoying it because i become more independent and base things strictly on my opinion now rather then others. Slowly...very slowly...i've started to develop my own style (not in a creepy way like i wear bowling shoes and overalls) but i'm deciding what i like and what i think looks good. I also re-designed my room a bit to make it more zen and relaxing for my anxiety. My friend doesn't seem to either notice the little changes i've made or makes little comments about it. The other thing i want to start doing is really caring less about what my friends really think about me. There are times when i put so much effort into how i look and what i'm wearing and they don't even say a peep. I don't know why but sometimes i feel just so much less attractive when i'm with them. My friends are pretty girls...pretty much my whole crew (all 40 of us) are a group of attractive people. When i'm with the whole crew...they tend to acknowledge by presence and tell me how i look...but my girls...they don't. I really shouldn't care since it's always been like this and what's on the outside really doesn't matter....but to hear some sort of comment from the girls you've grown up with...would be nice. I feel they only notice the bad...never the good.
On a higher note...my relationship with my bf is flourishing :) It was his birthday the week of the 4th so we spend pretty much everyday together that week. Monday was his birthday where i took him out for dinner and his friends surprised him there (all my plan!) and i bought him a watch for his birthday. I took him out for drinks later as well and got him nicely tipsy...i was proud. Then wednesday we went to high park and had a picnic lunch and then he came over for a family dinner and after we watched the baseball game...where i passed out at 12am because baseball is not entertaining haha. Then friday was his birthday family dinner where we had a very nice time as well. In the car he told me that he's starting to develop stronger feelings for me and it's making him nervous. LOVIN IT! haha. I've been developing stronger feelings for him too and he makes me really happy. I've had my fair share of relationships and out of all of them, i've never been so comfortable with anyone then i am with him. I can totally be myself without worrying what if he wont like the real me. We've also been together for almost 8 months so we're passed that point...but we were like that right at the beginning too...and it's just amazing. He has also slowly started to meet my friends (because all of them were away at school and we're losers who stay here in the tdot) and i'm getting approvals everywhere which is also very nice.
I miss him though...i haven't seen him in 2 days and i'm starting to go a little squirelly...it's pathedic. We haven't really talked either cause he's been soo busy with school and my phone is outta commission. And texting is pretty hard too....aka my temp phone doesn't have T9 and i'm dying without it!!!
Hope this weather keeps being fab right until next week cause it's my birthday (ahhh) and the party will be goin down.
Until next time...
TTFN
Anxiety Scale: 2.4
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