...but i will not crumble

Well this is day 2 of me being home from a brutal ass sore throat that is making me very blue.

However! i finally got up on the whitney houston-oprah interview. So i cried...obviously, just because she's so incredibly amazing, but if you haven't heard her new album...GET IT! probably one of the best purchases i've made in a while.

Although all i have is a sore throat and i'm oober bummed about it...just hearing her lyrics and hearing her form...i swear my throat got better. She's such a remarkable woman...who found the strength to get out of a relationship that went sour. She did take her time...but she left when she was good and ready. I relate that to my own issues sometimes with anxiety. I have my days where i think i'm just going to be anxious the rest of my life and nothing will ever change. Then there are days where i seem to find the strength to get my ass in gear and start fighting this 8 year battle. This whole throat sitch is making me stressed because i can't afford to miss class...however when you're in radio...you sorta need your voice...and i also don't want to get anyone else sick...not like i'll be sticking my tongue down anyone's throat...but you never know.

It's amazing the affect that music can have on me. Music is what has gotten me through some really tough break-ups and friendships. Whether it's Adele, Whitney, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, or even Dallas Green...lyrics just speak to me in ways that no one else i know can. Music can also make me realize how good my life really is. Falling for you by Colbie Caillet makes me realize how i felt when i started falling in love with my boyfriend and i was too chicken shit to tell him. Or Strength by Whitney Houston when i realize how much progess i've actually made when its come to my anxiety. Another song would be Best Day by Taylor Swift from her old album but it reminds me of my mom and how she's always been there for me.

Yes...one interview with Whitney and Oprah and these are all the thoughts that start going through my mind. Hopefully after a little visit to my naturopath she'll give me something for my throat because i can't miss ANOTHER day of school...cause shit will hit the fan!

TTFN

Anxiety Scale: 5.7 (kinda high)

Extreme composition

After a lovely 3 hour service at synagogue (ugh!) i spent the day working on my photography assignment for class. Although i'm in radio...apparently taking pictures is a huge deal.

So i went around my neighbourhood getting different angles, going to different parks, with vitamin water in hand and decided to destroy the neighbourhood. I think i got some decent shots but what do i know? like i said, i'm in radio!

Last night i had my rosh hashanna din din where 13 members of my family graced us with their presence. To my surprise there was a new member of the family. My uncle brought his golden-doodle puppy named Hank to the festivities. Pretty much one of the most adorable dogs i have ever seen! He has such a personality it's incredible!

We ate tons and tons of hungarian food and of course a lovely toffee apple cheesecake from yours truly! It was also my grandfathers 85th birthday! which was a huge milestone due to the fact that about 2 months ago he went in for a double bi-pass and a valve replacement.

My pictures consisted of a lot of squirells...i like squirells...they're cute and fuzzy...i hope my prof likes squirells...or else i fail!

I also got to see my friend Amber today who i haven't seen in 3 weeks and it was the high-light of my day...aside from my fabulous boyfriend meeting me at the park to give me a kiss in his suit and tie! haha it was amazing!

ttfn

Anxiety Scale: 3.5

If i could create a place that's my own world.

And I'm back!

It's been a while and a lot has gone on...too much to even begin to type out

School has started...amazing!

Wicked program with a lot of awesome people. We're all aquantances...and feed off eachother in some way.

I have a little crew...no big! Good friends are hard to come by but i see potential.

One girl to begin with...one word to describe her....exquisite! So full of life and energy...confidence through the roof...much love!

Finally reached a milestone in my life that took long enough to reach...but i stuck to my morals and went for it when i felt it was right. One word to describe that moment...true.

Slowly adapting to my new surroundings and the new 4-walls that i call my second home...loving it so far.

In previous posts i've talked about love and my boyfriend....but in all honesty...i think i finally learned what true love is.

Side effects:

1. Warm and fuzzy

2. Feel like floating

3. Thinking of your partner...all smiles

4. You miss them once they leave

5. Wild energy between the two

6. It's epic!

Currently listening to John Tesh via computer through my new headphones...balla!

Side Note:

I HATE KANYE WEST

sorry...needed to be said.

My writing is a little different then my previous posts....it's cause my thoughts are squirelly so this is how they're coming through.

Saw someone get anxious today...i helped without letting my own issues get in the way...feeling: impowerment!

Another sidenote:

I can't stand when people ask, "Have you fucked yet?" fucking is fucking...no emotional attachment...no passion...just two people humping like jack-rabbits.

It's sex...i'm not 65 so i wont say making love...but it's sex....if you're with you're partner and you love them...you're having sex....you're not fucking! However...super horny...wanna get it on...you prefer to say fuck cause it sounds more raw...by all means! Just don't say it to me.

It's getting cold outside.

I'm really thirsty.

Gwen Stefani is singing in my ears.

Seeing a hypno-therapist for my anxiety...wicked!

TTFN.

Anxiety Scale: 3.4