Needs a kit-kat

I'm so overwhelmed I can't even breathe. Do you ever notice the older you get the more stressful things become. Especially money. I'm 21 years old, a full-time student and living at home...you'd think my financial expenses would be minimal. Of course this is not the case. This constant fight of not having enough money is starting to drive me off the deep end. I'm a full time radio broadcasting student, i work part-time for astral media, i manage the promotions and sales for my college radio station, i have my own show every wednesday and i have homework. Please explain to me how you expect me to make thousands of dollars a month?
Everyone seems to be so afraid about growing up because of all the responsabilities and financial obligations they'll have. Well my friends...i might as well be living on my own because i'm up to my eyeballs in bullshit expenses.
When you're a child with a sibling...there always seems to be a comparison. My brother was in college for a year...a year! and he now runs his own business. My brother from the age of 14-18 was in high school like any other kid...sorry let me rephrase that...was enrolled in high school...never seemed to go. Same with college...he hardly went to class...worked most of the time...and that's why he's able to afford things a little better then i can. Technically he hasn't even graduated college...he failed 3 classes and is in the process of making up one so he can get his certificate. I'm a student with a 4.0 grade avg and am working incredibly hard on my education...therefore it's sort of difficult to make so much money.
Most parents want their kids to spend the 8 months of the year focusing only on their education and having the weekends to relax and/or work on assignments. That used to be the case for me...when i was 13. Once i turned 14 i got my first cellphone...my father then said "and how will you be paying for that?" and the rest was history. So technically...i've been paying bills since i was 14 years old. 14! I didn't want to go to school far away because my parents made at home life seem oober glamorous. Free food, no rent, and the comforts of home. If i knew staying at home would cause so much anxiety, stress and angst...dude, let me tell you! i'd be in Waterloo right now eating out of a alphagetti can and loving it.
I'm trying to fulfill the expectations of my parents but at this point in time it seems like it's impossible. They want me to get good grades and work hard in school....but make enough money that i can pay my parents back for whatever and pay all my bills. In what fucked up world are they living in? Where i have a money tree in my room? There's only so much i can physically do. I'm physically and emotionally wiped! The problem with my job in radio...most of the stuff happens during the week and i'm in school. For example: i missed class yesterday to do an event. to make money. this weekend...i have off (shh don't tell my parents) because there are no events. So...what am i going to do? hibernate at school so i don't have to hear them bitch. Isn't that pathetic? I want to relax but i'm too afraid to so i'm going to school.
Give me a break!!

Stupid things

You know when you put so much effort into something and at the end of the day it's not acknowledged?
I prepped myself for 3 days for a big event I had to go to. I spent loads of money, lost a lot of sleep, and cut my diet so i could look my best. After all the effort the one person i wanted to impress more then anything seemed to be the least bit impressed.
I, Jay Kay, never wear dresses...last dress i wore was prom...that was almost 4 years ago. I went out and dropped over $350.00 on a gorgeous fitted, purple mini dress and i got new heals, a new clutch, new makeup and primped, waxed and pampered myself so i could look my very best.
The big event pretty much came and went and although i should have felt like a million bucks...i felt like a nickle.
*sigh*
stupid things.

JK

Back to the future...

Well it's been quite some time since i've written a blog. I don't even know where to begin!!

Well summer came and went quite quickly...actually...huge lie! I felt that April-June was the slowest thing of my life! But July and August flew by like Superman on Red Bull.

So I celebrated my 21st birthday in NYC with my dad which was amazingly fun! Although I did come home to a lovely case of the sickies. Still not too sure what was wrong with me...but it was a weird sensation of wanting to faint every few minutes...not so pleasant.

I then went to Windemere Resort in Muskoka with my lovely boyfriend for our birthdays. We were gone for 3 days and 2 nights and it was absolutely amazing! Wish we were there again! Then of course upon my return...my weird sickies came back. Finally, near the end of June I get a phone call from a man by the name of Paul who offered me a job to work at Virgin Radio in Promotions on the Street Team. I nearly shit myself with excitement and accepted the job right away!

From June-August was just a complete world wind! From tons of events, travelling all over the city, meeting thousands upon thousands of people, and spending some fantastic quality time with le boy...all and all it was a fantastic summer!

A big Mazel Tov will have to be given to my boyfriends brother who got engaged over the summer! Thank G-d! I've never been to a wedding and i'm so jazzed to go! (do people still say jazzed? doubt it).

Working with Virgin Radio has been a mind blowing experience! It made me shed my insecurities to just get out there and just be! It's been absolutely amazing and i'm so honoured to be a member of the team!

I guess the biggest victory next to working for Virgin is I finally conquered my 8 year battle with Anxiety. After a brutal 2 months of exposure therapy...i can officially say...i no longer have vomit phobia! It's a fantastic feeling and it's like a huge weight has been lifted. I'm a stronger person because of it and i wouldn't have gotten through it without the overwhelming support of my family, friends and boyfriend. I will always have anxiety to a certain extent (because everyone does) but aslong as it doesn't control my life...i will be a-okay!

School has begun and i'm in my final year of Radio Broadcasting. We were all welcomed back with a shit-load of responsabilities and assignments! Not only am i a full-time student and work part-time with Virgin Radio, i'm now on the management team for S@Y radio, i have my own radio show Wednesdays @3:00 (go to http://www.sayradio.net/ to listen), and I still have homework. Talk about over-kill!!!!

We've also lost a few good people in our program who no longer have the 'passion' for radio...to them i say: Good luck and we will miss the heck outta you!

It was my 2 year anniversay September 20th and it was a beautiful evening! We went out for dinner to my favourite restaurant where my bf surprised me with a beautiful ring. Now, I've been asking David for a ring for over a year now...and i didn't think he was actually going to get it. Wrapped in a relatively large box i was skeptical. I open the box to see a Holts box (i think to myself...hey it's from Holts...i'll take it!) of course i open it up to see a Raptors Jersey....(now, right then in there i was going to dump his ass haha but i decided to open up the jersey), inside the jersey was a little Tiffany Blue Box...*heart stops* i open the box to see a little pouch *heart sinks* (i thought it was a bracelette) i open the little pouch and a ring plops into my hand *tears form*...i burst into tears and freak out and was overwhelmed with excitement. Needless to say i am the luckiest girl in the world...not because of the ring....but because of the guy who presented me with the ring. This guy has saved my life in more ways then one and i will love him until the day my heart stops beating.

Well, that's it for today...i have to get on writing an assignment for Radio News.

Till next time!

TTFN!

xoox